We've all heard the saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder" but when it comes to long distance relationships, that absence comes with a myriad of emotions. These emotions will still strike a nerve even years after the distance is bridged again. When you're hundreds of miles from the person you love, life takes on a new perspective and you begin to cherish Skype calls, "Good Morning" texts, and of course, short visits. LDRs aren't easy but if you can stick through it, it is so worth it.
Summer is here again (well, for college-age kids at least) and I've been thinking back to the end of my freshman year two years ago. For the first time in my life, I was dreading summer because I knew Jesse and I were going to be long distance for the 3+ months of summer vacation given to college students. On May 11th we said our goodbyes and I cried for the first hour on the drive home. He visited me in New York every 3 or so weeks and I lived for those visits. The fact that he would get out of work at 5pm, leave straight for my house, arriving at 10 or so at night just to see me for 2 days still amazes me. We made the most of our short visits together catching up, making out, and going on walks. But every night as I would fall asleep in his arms, I would get this lump in my throat as I realized our time together was almost up.
Jesse would leave at 5am on Friday mornings. The night before he left I would try to stay up as late as I could because I knew the moment I closed my eyes and fell asleep, the next time I would open them, Jesse would be leaving. 5am is such a beautiful time of day during the summer with the sun just beginning to rise. The day has so much potential. However, during that summer, I hated 5am. It was the hour that Jesse would get up, pack his things, and start up his Mustang to drive back to New Hampshire. We would say a really tearful goodbye and I would wrap myself in the blankets we just slept in and walk to the front of the house to wave goodbye. As soon as his car was out of my sight I would sit on the porch and cry. After just two short days, I would be alone again, in the lonely silence that 5am brings.
Whether you're currently in or will be in an LDR in the future, here are some things to keep in mind.
- Use technology to your advantage. We live in a world that has Facetime, Skype, texting, and every kind of social media available so use it! Skype every night. Text in the morning. Whatever works!
- Handwritten letters are super romantic and they are a great keepsake. I channeled my inner Noah Calhoun and wrote Jesse a letter every single day that summer and man, are they fun to reread. They're repetitive and kinda cheesy but they are always reassuring to read.
- Once you've been in an LDR, you'll never take that person for granted ever again. Every time I'm annoyed at Jesse I always think back to that summer and it just puts everything into perspective.
- We all do crazy things when we're in love. Example #1: Jesse drove hundreds of miles to visit me during that summer. Example #2: After that summer, we promised to never be apart again and look at me know! I live in New Hampshire!
- Countdowns will become your life. After I stopped crying after Jesse left, I would start a new countdown until he visited again. There's something about watching time pass that makes LDRs a little easier...either that or I was just really bored without Jesse.
- If you want it to work, it will work. LDRs take effort to maintain but if both parties put in that effort, you guys will make it. I promise.
- LDRs are romantic...in retrospect. While I would never want to go back to that summer (for multiple reasons - hello summer of surgery), I have great memories of those months that I'll carry with me forever.
- There will be tears. Lots of tears.
- You might have a breakthrough in your thinking. It was during my long distance summer that I truly fell in love with Jesse and realized that he is The One.
During that summer I found a great quote that helped ease the pain of a fresh goodbye:
"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." -Winnie the Pooh
Saying goodbye to the person you love never gets easier but I am so fortunate to have found someone like Jesse. I still get choked up when I stop and think about how Jesse would drive to see me every few weeks because he wanted to see me. If the person you're with is willing to go the distance, you'll make it through the summer, year, or week of long distance love. If it's true love, no distance is too great.
