How To Get Over A Boy

Step One: Go get a breakover (breakup makeover)! I'm 99% that every girl has or will do this at some point in her life. Breakovers are great because not only do you get that confidence boost, but you can subtlety post a fab selfie to show him what he's missin'! It's important to note that this breakover should be a little drastic but not like, scary drastic. Example? I dyed my hair black (yes, black). It was the middle of winter and I was super pale and I also happened to be going through an eyeliner phase so I looked like an actual panda. See photo below for proof.

#EyelinerIsBAE #Not #Ew 

Step Two: Cry. Here's the catch, you're only allowed to cry once. Pick a night, maybe get some ice cream, put on sad music and cry your eyes out. After that, no more tears. Sure, you'll be sad the next few nights/weeks/months/however long it takes but only throw yourself the pity party once. I have only used this for one guy because the other one wasn't even worth crying over. #IGotOneLessProblemWithoutYa ;)

Step Three: Write a letter to the boy. DO NOT MAIL THIS LETTER. EVER. Maybe it's because I am obsessed with writing but this is so powerful for me. Write down everything you want to say to him. I've written angry letters as well as sad letters. I've even written a couple novel style letters...oops.

Step Four: Make a girl power playlist with lots of Taylor Swift (the peppy stuff not the Dear John/Back to December stuff), Demi Lovato (the ultimate girl power singer), and Katy Perry (Part of Me = gold). Play this playlist as loud as you can in your car or while your showering. Repeat songs as much as necessary.

Step Five: Reflect, forgive, and move on. This step may take a while but that's okay! When you're ready, you'll be able to move on and forget all about Mr. Ex.

DO NOT:

• Try to get revenge by hooking up with a rando at a frat party on the following weekend.
• Constantly bombard The Ex with "I miss you" texts or anything of the like. Sounding desperate automatically gives The Ex an upper hand. 
• Give in to what they want. Some guys will say they'll stay with you if you sleep with them, or do x, y, or z. Don't do these things.
• Mail that letter. Seriously.
• Throw yourself a pity party every single day. Not only does it make you feel more pathetic but your friends will get sick of hearing the same stories and will slowly begin to distance themselves. 
• Send boob pics.
• Or nudez.
• Cause Facebook drama between your friends, his friends, his mom, your BFF, or anyone for that matter. 
• Stalk him.
• Sabotage your birth control in thinking that a baby will keep him around. It won't and you'll have to deal with a breakup while being pregnant/have a kid that may resemble The Ex therefore leaving you with a permanent reminder of how stupid you were.

This post is dedicated to my lovely sister, Laura. ;)

Dear Hymen, (a letter)

Dear Hymen,

We've been together for 20 1/2 years now and we're approaching the day in which we will be separated. It's a little sad to think of us parting ways but it's for the best.

It's not your fault you didn't form correctly when I was in my mother's womb. You had no idea that 16 years later I'd figure out how I was a rare case. Ever since I realized your presence I've cried an unimaginable amount of times.

Trying to lose you has been a journey. I remember the day the doctor told me I would, in fact, have surgery to rid myself of you and I was happy. I still am happy because this will allow me to use tampons, have sex, and children someday. Truth is if it's not today, it'll have to be someday.

Thank you for protecting me all these years. Knowing of your presence has kept me from making some stupid choices. You've given me time to figure out myself and my boundaries. But I have a boyfriend now and I suppose that's what changed it all. I promise you he will take care of me from here.

You have changed my life and I know you're just a small piece of skin but your impact has been profound. I've began tackling my fear of doctors and doctor appointments and I truly feel like I've grown as a person through this whole process. You've inspired me to share my story with everyone and let young girls out there know that it will be ok.

So thank you. You've caused temporary hell in my life but you've given me an opportunity to help females who are just like me.

Love,
Emily