The 8 Year Old Me (Inspirational Friday)

I was a shy child. I sat in my desk at school, quietly taking notes and listening intently to my teacher. I was a good student with a few close friends. Middle school is where it all changed for me. I was still shy but I no longer had those close friends (they were at the middle school across town). I had glasses, braces, and acne galore. After school, I would return home and play American Girl dolls with my sister. We were obsessed with the Bratz TV show and pretended our dolls were Cloe, Yasmin, Sasha, and Jade. My sister and I always looked up to the Bratz because beyond their long hair, perfect makeup, and amazing wardrobe, they were 4 unstoppable best friends who instilled a sense of girl power into the viewers and taught girls everywhere that anything is possible. But in middle school, my dreams felt far from possible.

There's a quote that reads: if your 8 year old self met you, would they be proud? This happened to pop into my head during my shower today and got me thinking. If 8 year old me met the current me, I think she'd be awestruck. I don't think she would've expected me to be such a confident and successful woman. She would love that I live near Old Orchard Beach (somewhere 8 year old me always wanted), found an amazing boyfriend, and still remain a child at heart. Above all, she would admire that I grew up to be just like the Bratz - fearless, ambitious, kind-hearted, and creative.

We grow up each and every year. Sure we grow physically from birth to ~18 years but we are always growing. Since moving to college I've had to stand up for myself more, learn to argue effectively (#roommatessuck), manage my time, cook actual meals, etc. My surgery was a year ago and going from trying to have sex to not being able to have sex to crying about not being able to have sex to going to therapy because that was the only option left to finally having sex was a huuuge deal and that was only 4 months! My point here is that we are constantly growing from week to week, month to month, year to year.

I think it's so important to take some time and think about how much you've grown as a person. Back to the quote I used at the beginning, I almost think it'd be cooler to travel back in time and visit your 8 year old self. Just to take a moment to talk to her and say, "Hey, it's gonna be alright. This is what you're life will be like in 'x number of years.'" Maybe then growing up wouldn't be so scary.

Dear Hymen, (a letter)

Dear Hymen,

We've been together for 20 1/2 years now and we're approaching the day in which we will be separated. It's a little sad to think of us parting ways but it's for the best.

It's not your fault you didn't form correctly when I was in my mother's womb. You had no idea that 16 years later I'd figure out how I was a rare case. Ever since I realized your presence I've cried an unimaginable amount of times.

Trying to lose you has been a journey. I remember the day the doctor told me I would, in fact, have surgery to rid myself of you and I was happy. I still am happy because this will allow me to use tampons, have sex, and children someday. Truth is if it's not today, it'll have to be someday.

Thank you for protecting me all these years. Knowing of your presence has kept me from making some stupid choices. You've given me time to figure out myself and my boundaries. But I have a boyfriend now and I suppose that's what changed it all. I promise you he will take care of me from here.

You have changed my life and I know you're just a small piece of skin but your impact has been profound. I've began tackling my fear of doctors and doctor appointments and I truly feel like I've grown as a person through this whole process. You've inspired me to share my story with everyone and let young girls out there know that it will be ok.

So thank you. You've caused temporary hell in my life but you've given me an opportunity to help females who are just like me.

Love,
Emily