Hopping off the Fast Track

With only one week left of winter break, I am preparing to start my last semester of college. My last semester of college. I still cannot believe I graduate in four months and five days. Time flies when you're having fun...or when you're busy.

I've always prided myself in going above and beyond each semester and still managing to come out on top. Sophomore year I held two jobs, Junior year I had three, and last semester, I had two jobs and an internship that required another twenty hours of my time per week. I'm happy to report that I managed to balance all of that and maintain straight A's once again. However, last semester was also a huge wake up call.

Last semester, the average day went a little something like this: wake up at 4:00 AM to get ready for work at Dunkin Donuts. 4:55 AM, clock in at work. 10:00 AM, clock out, grab a croissant and/or muffin and/or bagel and drive home to my apartment to change. 10:28 AM, drive to school while eating the croissant/muffin/bagel. Class from 11:00-12:30 PM. 12:30 PM, drive home from school, change, leave for my internship. Internship from 2:00-6:00 PM. Arrive home at 6:30 PM, eat dinner, attempt to catch up on homework/readings, shower, and try to get to bed by 9:00 PM. Repeat through Friday. I was exhausted. Physically and mentally exhausted. 

The weeks themselves blended together. I would wake up on Monday morning and before I knew what was happening, it was Friday afternoon and I had made it through another week. Saturday I was always too exhausted to do anything so I spent much of the time sleeping and watching Netflix. Sunday mornings I tried to be productive by cleaning the apartment, doing laundry, starting the week's worth of homework I had, etc. Sunday nights were probably the worst. I would get into bed and become overwhelmed with a huge sense of dread for the week to come. Sometimes I would even cry. "I can't do this anymore!" I would say in between sobs to Jesse. 

At the end of November, my body began to turn against me. I stopped getting my period and developed a severe ear infection that I actually had no idea I had until a few days ago. It was at this time that I knew something had to change. It was equal parts scary and sad to realize that my daily routine of getting up at 4:00 AM, running around all day until 6:30 PM and getting an average of 5-6 hours of sleep per night was doing such harm to my body. You can will yourself to go on as much as you want but at some point, you're body will give up.

I've since left my job at Dunkin Donuts which was very bittersweet but ultimately, for the best. This semester, I'm vowing to enjoy my last few months at UNH. I want to be able to get up at a normal hour and not always feel exhausted. I want to dedicate more time to the things that matter like my relationship with Jesse, my friends and family, planning events for my internship, and schoolwork. 

Hoping off the fast track is not something I like doing. I have always prided myself in being able to handle just about anything but after last semester, I'm taking a step back for myself. Staying in a routine that makes you miserable, tired, irritable, etc. isn't fair to you. I was trying to prove something to myself but at the end of the day, none of that mattered. I'm learning that success isn't measured by how much you can do, the crazy schedule you've set up for yourself, or how busy you are. Success is being happy and healthy. At the end of the day, I want to have time for the things that matter the most to me. 

So about this blogging thing...

So...senior year. Finally, it's midsemester and while I am super pumped about this, I'm also a little disappointed because it feels like it should be time to take finals. I seriously underestimated the pressure I would be dealing with this year and it has started to take a toll on me. To sum it up, I wake up every morning at 4am to get ready for work and I'm never home before 6pm (except Fridays - TGIF has become my life motto). Those 14 hours consist of running (okay, driving) back and forth between various jobs, classes, and my internship. To put it in perspective, I drive about 110 miles on my busiet days. TGTGPAPL (Thank God the gas prices are pretty low).

Do you know how difficult it is to get up every morning knowing you won't be finished with the day for 14 hours? It sucks and I hate it. Most of the days, I try not to focus on this. I just try to take one task at a time and move throughout the day while consuming loads of coffee and eating meals in the car. Recently, I've had to ween myself off coffee because I was becoming very aware of my constant racing heartbeat which can't be good. Let me tell you, going from drinking 3+ cups of coffee a day to only 1 has been a challenge in itself. This past week I was having difficulty staying awake once the clock struck noon.

I was doing pretty bad in the sleep department, too, until recently. 5 hours (or less) of sleep a night wasn't terrible but by the time I got home at 6pm and started to do homework I would literally fall asleep. This week, I was in bed by 9:30pm each night and OMG I actually remembered some of my dreams!

I am, however, trying to enjoy what's left of my undergraduate career at UNH because even though I'm dying for this semester to be done, this is it. I've been so busy that I haven't really had the chance to stop and think about the fact that graduation is 7 months away.

Time flies when you have none of it.

First Week Reflection!

The first week of senior year a.k.a. the last first week of school I'll ever have (*sniff*) is officially over and boy, am I tired! I'm trying not to think about the fact that this was my "easy" week because everyone knows the first week of college is "sylly week" where classes last as long as it takes to get through the syllabus. Only when you're a senior, "sylly week" is more of a stress week.

I only have 3 classes this semester. You're probably thinking, "that doesn't sound so bad" and you're right, it doesn't. Buuut you have to factor in working 30 hours a week so I can pay for life and 20 additional unpaid (*sniff*) hours a week at my internship. My internship hasn't officially started yet and while I am looking forward to it, part of me is dreading getting up at 4am to work followed by class which is followed by my internship until 6:30. Add a half hour drive to that means getting to my apartment at 7pm, eating/showering/studying/sleeping before repeating that process again the next day.

But this is it. My last year. It really hasn't sunk in yet although it made my heart legitimately ache when I saw freshman with their lanyards around their necks, chatting with each other on their way to lunch/class/the library. Part of me longs for those carefree, wild(cat hehehe) days. The other part of me is over it because let's be real - smuggling Mike's Hard Lemonade up your sweatshirt sleeve to transport it throughout the dorm isn't cool (although the goosebumps on your arms would say otherwise).

I already have more homework than I did my entire freshman year. To be fair, I would have had more homework as a freshman but for some reason didn't really understand that textbooks were meant for reading. Read chapter 3 for homework? COOL! NO HOMEWORK TONIGHT! #smh

I'm going to try and enjoy this last year in between all of the paper writing, studying, planning, and stressing I'll likely be doing. The thought of graduating already gives me the chills and when Angels and Airwaves 'The Adventure' comes on, I get a little teary-eyed.

UNH, there were times where I loved you and times I hated you but you kept me coming back for more (and spending more #DebtTillIDie). I hope you're ready for this last year.

March 2015 in 60 Seconds

Hiiiiiii guys! Long time no blog...! Like many posts in the past, this is going to be somewhat of a life update seeing as I haven't blogged in over a month!

1. I got another job! I work at Dunkin Donuts which is actually so much fun! It's suuuper fast paced and I get to chat with customers and make drinks and all that jazz! I work about 30 hours a week there and between that, my two other jobs, a full course load and homework I have like ZERO time to do anything! I'll try and get more posts scheduled though!
2. Jesse and I have been living together for a YEAR as of next Wednesday which is crazy because it only seems like it's been a few months. We're renewing our lease and staying here through next May. YAY FOR HAPPY COHABITING COUPLES! I've got a blog post scheduled for the 1st which is a list of everything I've learned after this first year!
3. My school's Spring Break was last week and Jesse and I went to visit his parents in Virginia for half of the week and then to visit my parents in New York for the remainder of the week. I can't tell you how nice it was to have a week off! Jesse and I have pretty opposite schedules but last week we really just got to hang out with each other and our families. I couldn't have asked for a better break! I even took Jesse to New York City which was a lot of fun, too!

Favorite boy, favorite city :)

There you have it - the past month all summed up! The 6'+ of snow we got in New Hampshire has finally started to melt and it seems like Spring is trying her best to make an appearance! This semester is about 2/3 over and then I'm sure I'll have more time for blogging! Until then, I'll do my best to post as often as I can!

-Emily