4 years...Reminiscing about College

In less than one month, I will begin my final year at the University of New Hampshire. It feels so surreal because I remember being a high school senior so vividly and now here I am, 4 years later (gap year, remember?), about to embark on my senior year of college.

4 years.

4 years when you're a kid feels like forever. 4 years as a child means getting taller, moving up a few shoe sizes, aging from single digits to double digits. 4 years as a child feels like forever because the changes that take place are often tangible. Post high school, time accelerates. The years become harder to define and often blur together a bit. This blur is very obvious during those magical college years.

Only, they aren't so magical.

I firmly believe that the most important lessons you learn in college take place outside of the classroom. Sure, debating the ethical principles of human experimentation is eye-opening but it pales in comparison to the experiences you gain in the "college real world."

College often feels like a reality show. There are moments where you're almost expecting some hipster producer to jump out and point out all of the hidden cameras while shouting, "Gotcha! You're on Candid Camera!" I really recommend writing down some of these experiences because they only get weirder as time passes.

And time will pass. Quicker than you think.

As a freshman, you'll be so naive and eager. College, to many, is synonymous with freedom so there is always potential for anything to happen hence the reality show comparison. It's fun but it's also easy to lose yourself this year. Everyone seeks out a second family of sorts because, well, the people you live with are all you've got!

My college experience has been a little unorthodox. I set aside the party lifestyle for a more real approach. I studied hard and worked hard. Let me tell you, it isn't always easy seeing everyone around you go out and have fun. In fact, I've lost many friends because of that. Some people see college as "one big party before reality hits" but I've always viewed it as 4 years to work really hard, push myself to be the best I can be, and by the end, be able to boast a stellar resume.

Here's the thing - you can't list all of the ragers you've been to on a resume. Or talk about them in a job interview. The only times in your life that it will be appropriate to talk about your wild college years will be a parties with fellow partiers. Oh, you used to get blackout drunk and sing Britney Spears songs? In the real world, no one cares.

Make sure that at the end of your 4 years you're proud of who you are and what you've accomplished. You are spending literally thousands of dollars to go to college so make sure you get your money's worth. Take advantage of making connections, joining clubs, and work study jobs (Note: no matter how many hours you've worked you will always struggle financially hence the ever-popular #BrokeCollegeKid saying).

When I throw my cap in the air at graduation, I know I'm going to be proud of myself. Our society is ever-changing but the value of hard work will always remain the same.

Virgin Shaming

As a girl, when it comes to your sexuality, you can never win. You're either too promiscuous or too prude with little room for variation. It's either "She'd do it with anyone" or "When is she going to give it up?" More often, girls are slut-shamed but it's also important to focus on another phenomenon: virgin shaming.

Girls can be virgins for a number of reasons. Maybe they're religious and believe that they have to wait until marriage. Maybe they were born with a hymen that prevents sexual intercourse until surgery is complete. Maybe they're scared to get hurt or just want to wait until they are in love. We need to respect whatever reason a young woman has for being a virgin even though that reason may not be shared publicly.

While I was filming for MTV, my jealous ex-bestie told my entire floor that I was a virgin and that's what MTV was doing in the 3rd floor lounge. I suddenly started reading tweets from people on my floor that I didn't even know calling me "pathetic" "weird" and "attention seeking" because I happened to be a virgin and I happened to be filming for a TV show. Their words weren't what hurt. What hurt was that they were so quick to judge without hearing why I was a virgin. Did they know I had to have surgery? No. Did they know that I had a mental block? No. Ironically, the friend that spread the rumor was also a virgin. #VirginsShamingVirgins

I find it fascinating that we live in a society that is so unaccepting of either side of the spectrum. We cast dirty looks to girls on their walks of shame but we just as equally laugh at awkward couples who still believe in waiting until their wedding night. Where is the happy medium? Why can't girls be accepted whether they choose to sleep with just one guy or twenty-one? More importantly,why do we care?!

Going on MTV to proclaim my virginity was one of those moments you have to embrace because you quickly realize that you are placing yourself on a show that is defining you. Despite having lost my virginity at the end of the show, I'm forever "the girl on that virgin show." Even worse, I continued to be shamed. I stumbled upon a web show that was talking about the finale. It started off innocently enough but soon the hosts started speculating as to why I had stopped filming. "It must have been pretty bad if she didn't want to show her face after..." Yikes.

We've got to stop girls from feeling badly about their sexual experiences. It's hard enough as a girl dealing with body shaming. The last thing we should be doing is belittling another female for what she is or isn't doing with someone. Let's let everyone live their lives the way they choose to. We're all entitled to our own opinions and morals but those should, in no way, be used in an authoritative way. At the end of the day, we never really know the reasons why someone does or doesn't do certain things so before we judge, stop and think about your own reasons as to why you are or aren't a virgin. Remember, at one point, we all were virgins.

Dunkin Donuts: Did YOU know?!

With just a little over a month left of summer 2015, I'm coming to the realization that I really did nothing else but work. Oh, well. Dunkin Donuts is actually a pretty cool place to work (read: free coffee). I work 35 hours a week and thought I would share some behind the scenes/helpful information that I've learned as an employee.

1. You can order individual munchkins. With tax, a single munchkin is 27 cents. Or, you can #TreatYoSelf and get 5 for $1.
2. If you are going to be ordering a Box O' Joe, please come inside to order it. They take some time to make and other customers at drive thru get pretty angry at us for taking so long even though it was because of you and your order.
3. We throw out all donuts at the end of the night. No, you cannot come in before close and get them for free.
4. Before you get pissed with the person at the window for "screwing up your drink" please realize that the drive thru process works like this: someone greets you and takes your order. Then, someone at the drive thru counter will make your drink (me!) and place it on a mat to be delivered to you via the person at window. See? Not only did the person at the window not make your drink, but they didn't even hear you order because they don't wear a headset.
5. If you're sitting in the backseat and trying to order, either yell - literally YELL - your order or tell it to the person driving so they can place it for you. We can't hear you in the backseat,
6. Please stop telling us that the area near the speaker smells like trash. The garbage is back there. It is going to smell like garbage.
7. Dunkin Donuts is a franchise so the guy who owns my Dunkin Donuts also owns 14 others in the area. This means that every Dunkin Donuts is different. Please stop trying to argue about how you paid $2.99 for a sausage, egg, and cheese at a location in Connecticut and how you should be charged the same at my store in New Hampshire. We are all different.
8. Stop ordering in the most nonsensical ways. "Dark roast, 4 creams, iced, 1 Splenda, medium coffee, please" doesn't make any sense in terms of sentence construction. Try this: "Medium iced dark roast with 4 creams and 1 Splenda please!" It's not that hard people.
9. We offer a senior discount but you'd be surprised by the amount of people that abuse this. It's 10% off but we get the occasional customer who is no older than 40 who asks for it. That's the other part of the senior discount - YOU HAVE TO ASK FOR IT. Even if you look like you're going to die tomorrow, we can't just give it to you. People get offended and complain if we do.
10. Speaking of discounts, if you have an AARP card, you can get a free donut with a beverage purchase!
11. You can order a cup of ice, a cup of ice water with a lemon, or a hot cup to put over your cold cup to keep it cold longer. We will charge you the price of a munchkin for any of these though. But hey, it's only 27 cents!
12. Stop complaining that we are too happy for 5am. Like, dude, I'm exhausted. It's 5:15am, I got 4 hours of sleep and I'd still like to be sleeping buuuut I need money and I'm getting paid to be smiley. Plus, we accept tips (*wink, wink, nudge, nudge*) so the happier I am to you, the more I'm hoping you'll be inspired to drop some dolla-dolla bills in my tip jar.
13. Speaking of tips, we split them so while I appreciate your 50 cent tip, there are 10 people here so you do the math...
14. If you are a dick to whoever is taking your order, I won't give you decaf coffee like a lot of other baristas would. Instead, I just give you an excessive amount of ice which means less coffee for you. Or, in a hot coffee, I won't be as generous with filling it up. So please be nice to whoever is taking your order.
15. We can hear you. Seriously. The speaker has a sensor so even if you aren't directly in front of our speaker, our headsets beep and we can "tune in" to the speaker. This means we can hear the weird side conversations you have. Same goes with when you "pull up" to the window. If there are cars in front of you, and you can only pull up 4 feet, the sensor doesn't turn off and we can still hear you. I've heard people swearing, yelling at their kids, and talking about vomit. On the inside, we all get a lot of good laughs.
16. We can also see you. We have cameras that look at your car so I can see what kind of car you drive and how you're behaving. Once, I saw a woman hit her steering wheel multiple times when I told her we were out of maple frosted donuts. I guess she was having a bad day. 
17. Don't tell us how to make your drink. We've got it. If you're that picky, you should just make it at home yourself.
18. If you're super nice, we'll hook you up! Being super nice lands you extra munchkins and a drink stirred to perfection.
19. No, the bagel twists or the guacamole flatbread are not coming back. You whining about it isn't going to change that either.
20. If you enjoy your coffee or your experience, TELL US! If you took a moment to actually look at your receipt, you'd realize that there's a survey at the bottom. Our managers love getting feedback and we crew members love it, too! Please, take the survey. If you do, you get a free donut! Who doesn't love donuts?!

What Your Favorite Dunkin Donuts Drink Says About You

My summer has consisted of working 35 hour weeks at Dunkin Donuts. I'm the drink maker which means I hear what you say through the speaker via a headset and I make your drink. I'd say I make about 500 drinks in any given shift and being the drive-thru make girl, I've realized certain patterns when it comes to which type of person orders what type of drink. Without further adieu, here is a list of drinks served at Dunkin Donuts and what they say about you.

What does your favorite Dunkin Donuts drink say about you?

Hot Drinks

A vanilla chai says, "I'm better than you" or "I'm too cheap to go to Starbucks"

A hot chocolate says, "I have commitment issues"

A mint, s'mores, or salted caramel hot chocolate says, "Wait, those exist?" or "I like to pretend I drink coffee!"

A hot latte says, "I can't afford Starbucks" or "I've got to get back to my novel"

A cappuccino says, "I'm having a crisis in my life" or "I have a lot of skeletons in my closet"

A Dunkaccino says, "I have trouble making basic life decisions" or "I'm greedy as heck"

A hot tea says, "I'm lazy AF"

A hot coffee says, "I'm an important person with an important job to go to" or "I have no idea what other drinks Dunkin Donuts offers"

Iced Drinks

An iced coffee (ordered by a girl) says, "I'm a basic girl who hashtag can't live without hashtag coffee"

An iced coffee (ordered by a guy) says, "I struggle with my masculinity" or "Coffee is gross"

An iced tea says, "I love everyone" or "I really wanna lose three pounds..."

An iced green tea says, "I'm late for yoga"

An iced latte says, "I'm a complex person" or "I'm single"

Frozen Drinks

A frozen coffee coolatta says, "I have no idea where my life is going" or "Did I remember to lock my door?"

A fruit flavored coolatta says, "I'm underage" or "I've never been kissed" or "I like One Direction"

A smoothie says, "I secretly like watching people suffer" or "I'm two-faced"

A frozen Dunkaccino says, "I CAN GET A DUNKACCINO FROZEN?!"

Flavors of Drinks

Caramel swirl says, "I'm L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y the most basic girl you will ever meet"

Mocha swirl says, "I'm on my man period"

Butter pecan swirl says, "I've always struggled with my weight" or "I have low self-esteem"

French vanilla swirl says, "I put myself first, Always."

Rocky road swirl says, "I escalate the situation quickly"

Cookie dough swirl says, "I have no idea what reality is"

Pumpkin swirl says, "I'm the textbook definition of basic" or "I only watch sports when my team is winning!"

Drink Styles

'Black' says, "I have a penis" 

'Extra, extra' says, "I hate coffee" or "I have a vagina"

'Two pumps of mocha, three shots of raspberry, half of a Splenda, and two creams' says, "I hate everything about everyone" or "I have trust issues"

'Less ice' says, "I'm a cheapskate"

'Small hot.....' says, "I'm older than 65"

'Extra large' says, "I have anxiety"

Did I get yours right? Let me know! Happy sippin'!

How To Get Over A Boy

Step One: Go get a breakover (breakup makeover)! I'm 99% that every girl has or will do this at some point in her life. Breakovers are great because not only do you get that confidence boost, but you can subtlety post a fab selfie to show him what he's missin'! It's important to note that this breakover should be a little drastic but not like, scary drastic. Example? I dyed my hair black (yes, black). It was the middle of winter and I was super pale and I also happened to be going through an eyeliner phase so I looked like an actual panda. See photo below for proof.

#EyelinerIsBAE #Not #Ew 

Step Two: Cry. Here's the catch, you're only allowed to cry once. Pick a night, maybe get some ice cream, put on sad music and cry your eyes out. After that, no more tears. Sure, you'll be sad the next few nights/weeks/months/however long it takes but only throw yourself the pity party once. I have only used this for one guy because the other one wasn't even worth crying over. #IGotOneLessProblemWithoutYa ;)

Step Three: Write a letter to the boy. DO NOT MAIL THIS LETTER. EVER. Maybe it's because I am obsessed with writing but this is so powerful for me. Write down everything you want to say to him. I've written angry letters as well as sad letters. I've even written a couple novel style letters...oops.

Step Four: Make a girl power playlist with lots of Taylor Swift (the peppy stuff not the Dear John/Back to December stuff), Demi Lovato (the ultimate girl power singer), and Katy Perry (Part of Me = gold). Play this playlist as loud as you can in your car or while your showering. Repeat songs as much as necessary.

Step Five: Reflect, forgive, and move on. This step may take a while but that's okay! When you're ready, you'll be able to move on and forget all about Mr. Ex.

DO NOT:

• Try to get revenge by hooking up with a rando at a frat party on the following weekend.
• Constantly bombard The Ex with "I miss you" texts or anything of the like. Sounding desperate automatically gives The Ex an upper hand. 
• Give in to what they want. Some guys will say they'll stay with you if you sleep with them, or do x, y, or z. Don't do these things.
• Mail that letter. Seriously.
• Throw yourself a pity party every single day. Not only does it make you feel more pathetic but your friends will get sick of hearing the same stories and will slowly begin to distance themselves. 
• Send boob pics.
• Or nudez.
• Cause Facebook drama between your friends, his friends, his mom, your BFF, or anyone for that matter. 
• Stalk him.
• Sabotage your birth control in thinking that a baby will keep him around. It won't and you'll have to deal with a breakup while being pregnant/have a kid that may resemble The Ex therefore leaving you with a permanent reminder of how stupid you were.

This post is dedicated to my lovely sister, Laura. ;)

Hello, Adulthood.

I spent most of my senior year of high school terrified of the life that awaited post-graduation. I equated the acquisition of a high school diploma with the beginning of adulthood - a world I felt unprepared for. High school does a terrible job of preparing you to take on adulthood. Time is spent on SAT strategies, AP classes, and extracurriculars-slash-resume-builders because let's be real, no one is a member of National Honor Society, Mathletes, and Key Club without an ulterior motive (i.e. admission into college). The stress got to me so much that I ended up taking a year off after my senior year until I was ready to go to college.

Even as a college freshman, I didn't feel any closer to the ever-approaching world of adulthood as I did in high school. If anything, I took two steps backward my freshman year. Influences around me unfortunately led me to act really childish and immature. I pretend the first half of that school year didn't even exist.

I've come to realize that there isn't a moment that defines the start of adulthood. Growing up, I expected there to be an obvious sign or an 'Aha!' moment as Oprah would say. There never was. Suddenly, I found myself living with my boyfriend, paying bills, buying groceries, and working multiple jobs to make ends meet. Sure, I feel like an adult but I also feel like a kid who has adult responsibilities. Despite this contradiction, I've realized that there are some drastic changes between the thinking of high school me and adult me. Buckle up, it's about to get really deep.

1. The importance of family. My family has always been supportive of everything that I do which sadly, not everyone has. I am beyond blessed to have parents who work so hard and who care so much about my sister and I. Living four hours from my parents and over 24 from my sister is definitely difficult at times. Luckily, we make time for visits and because our visits never really last more than a few days, every moment is precious. Even when my family is gone, I can still feel their support and strength from miles away.
2. Life is short. The older I get the more I am realizing how short life really is. At this point in my life, I've lost family members, pets, and peers whose losses have all illustrated that life eventually comes to an end. I may only be 22 years old, but I'm trying to live in every moment and not waste time on the things that don't matter because life is too short to not be happy.
3. Change is, and forever will be, happening all around us. Lots of people fear change even though it happens every day. You could do the exact same things at the exact same times each day and the calendar still changes. The traditions that our parents raised us with always seemed to be cast in stone but there comes a time when even those most precious traditions are broken. Is it weird not being home for Thanksgiving? Maybe Christmas? Sure, but that's life. I never in a million years expected to be where I am in life but I'm embracing it because change doesn't have to be a bad thing.
4. Stop and smell the flowers. Seriously. As a twenty-first century child, I live life plugged in to many different devices and platforms. This goes along with #2, but I've realized how important it is to cherish all of those little beautiful things Mother Nature has created. I try to have at least one "pause" per day. What do I mean by pause? Take one minute, or five, heck, even ten minutes just to look around you. Look up at the sky. Take in your surroundings. Smell the flowers! Every morning on my 4:30am drive to work, I get to see the beginnings of the sunrise which has literally taken my breath away on multiple occasions. Life gets so busy sometimes and it's important to just pause once in a while. 
5. Ow! My legs! Okay, okay, so I'm sure this one will give me a laugh in twenty years when I reeeally start getting pains but I swear, I have them now! Laying on the ground all contorted isn't as easy as it was five years ago. Seriously how is that possible?! I'm sore. I'm in bed by 9pm. What is happening to me?!?!?

Entering into adulthood is a really strange transformation. Suddenly, cupcakes for breakfast are as appealing as staying up all night at a sleepover party. Painting your nails neon pink looks obnoxious and conversations about debt, loans, and payments become part of your daily vocabulary. Maybe your hair starts thinning, or turns grey, or falls out. There's pressure to go see a doctor just to make sure your body isn't planning a mutiny against you. Summer vacation is no longer for lazy days of reading in the backyard...it's for saving up as much money as you possibly can so that you can attempt to pay off some of your *gulp* college loans. Meanwhile you will still feel like a kid and unfortunately, some adults will treat you as though you are inadequate because of your youthfulness.

I'm gonna end this by saying that Jesse and I went to go buy beer on two separate occasions this week and didn't get carded either time. Yikes. Hello, adulthood.

Juuuuuuuuune Updates!!!

I feel like almost every blog post I write is an update post. I'm going to blame it on a lack of creativity because while I've been really inspired lately, every time I sit down to write a new post I can't. Case in point? I have 12 posts sitting in the draft folder that consist of a few - often misspelled - words (a.k.a. my "professional" outline process). Maybe it's the weather but for whatever reason I haven't been able to get myself to write anything that I'm proud of. I wrote a (PMS-induced) post a few weeks back that sounded really sociopathic so I decided not to post it. So without further adieu, here's another list of life updates!

1. I'm happy to announce that I am currently typing on my newly fixed laptop!!! If you remember, this laptop stopped charging/recognizing the plug in February but I was too poor to fix it and for some reason even when I had the money I kept putting it off. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that the only reason this one is fixed is because my old laptop (Dell circa 2009) is now broken too....oops.

2. For the past few weeks I've been a peer academic advisor for the UNH incoming class. I am absolutely in love with the job and I have no idea what I'm going to do when it's over. Actually, I do know what I'm going to be doing after it's over - working 35 hours a week at Dunks. Yikes.

3. Speaking of Dunks, our new manager begged me to come into work at 5am instead of my usual 6am so that means that every day, I have to get up at 3:45am to get ready. SOS. #NoSleep

4. Summer is going well. Jesse and I both have Sundays off and we're trying to plan fun activities for each week. Last Sunday, we went to a wine tasting which was a lot of fun even though I was totally that girl and accidentally got drunk. #Oops

That pretty much sums it up! I'm really hoping to get some posts up in the next couple weeks about things unrelated to my life updates...Stay tuned!