How To Get Over A Boy

Step One: Go get a breakover (breakup makeover)! I'm 99% that every girl has or will do this at some point in her life. Breakovers are great because not only do you get that confidence boost, but you can subtlety post a fab selfie to show him what he's missin'! It's important to note that this breakover should be a little drastic but not like, scary drastic. Example? I dyed my hair black (yes, black). It was the middle of winter and I was super pale and I also happened to be going through an eyeliner phase so I looked like an actual panda. See photo below for proof.

#EyelinerIsBAE #Not #Ew 

Step Two: Cry. Here's the catch, you're only allowed to cry once. Pick a night, maybe get some ice cream, put on sad music and cry your eyes out. After that, no more tears. Sure, you'll be sad the next few nights/weeks/months/however long it takes but only throw yourself the pity party once. I have only used this for one guy because the other one wasn't even worth crying over. #IGotOneLessProblemWithoutYa ;)

Step Three: Write a letter to the boy. DO NOT MAIL THIS LETTER. EVER. Maybe it's because I am obsessed with writing but this is so powerful for me. Write down everything you want to say to him. I've written angry letters as well as sad letters. I've even written a couple novel style letters...oops.

Step Four: Make a girl power playlist with lots of Taylor Swift (the peppy stuff not the Dear John/Back to December stuff), Demi Lovato (the ultimate girl power singer), and Katy Perry (Part of Me = gold). Play this playlist as loud as you can in your car or while your showering. Repeat songs as much as necessary.

Step Five: Reflect, forgive, and move on. This step may take a while but that's okay! When you're ready, you'll be able to move on and forget all about Mr. Ex.

DO NOT:

• Try to get revenge by hooking up with a rando at a frat party on the following weekend.
• Constantly bombard The Ex with "I miss you" texts or anything of the like. Sounding desperate automatically gives The Ex an upper hand. 
• Give in to what they want. Some guys will say they'll stay with you if you sleep with them, or do x, y, or z. Don't do these things.
• Mail that letter. Seriously.
• Throw yourself a pity party every single day. Not only does it make you feel more pathetic but your friends will get sick of hearing the same stories and will slowly begin to distance themselves. 
• Send boob pics.
• Or nudez.
• Cause Facebook drama between your friends, his friends, his mom, your BFF, or anyone for that matter. 
• Stalk him.
• Sabotage your birth control in thinking that a baby will keep him around. It won't and you'll have to deal with a breakup while being pregnant/have a kid that may resemble The Ex therefore leaving you with a permanent reminder of how stupid you were.

This post is dedicated to my lovely sister, Laura. ;)

Hello, Adulthood.

I spent most of my senior year of high school terrified of the life that awaited post-graduation. I equated the acquisition of a high school diploma with the beginning of adulthood - a world I felt unprepared for. High school does a terrible job of preparing you to take on adulthood. Time is spent on SAT strategies, AP classes, and extracurriculars-slash-resume-builders because let's be real, no one is a member of National Honor Society, Mathletes, and Key Club without an ulterior motive (i.e. admission into college). The stress got to me so much that I ended up taking a year off after my senior year until I was ready to go to college.

Even as a college freshman, I didn't feel any closer to the ever-approaching world of adulthood as I did in high school. If anything, I took two steps backward my freshman year. Influences around me unfortunately led me to act really childish and immature. I pretend the first half of that school year didn't even exist.

I've come to realize that there isn't a moment that defines the start of adulthood. Growing up, I expected there to be an obvious sign or an 'Aha!' moment as Oprah would say. There never was. Suddenly, I found myself living with my boyfriend, paying bills, buying groceries, and working multiple jobs to make ends meet. Sure, I feel like an adult but I also feel like a kid who has adult responsibilities. Despite this contradiction, I've realized that there are some drastic changes between the thinking of high school me and adult me. Buckle up, it's about to get really deep.

1. The importance of family. My family has always been supportive of everything that I do which sadly, not everyone has. I am beyond blessed to have parents who work so hard and who care so much about my sister and I. Living four hours from my parents and over 24 from my sister is definitely difficult at times. Luckily, we make time for visits and because our visits never really last more than a few days, every moment is precious. Even when my family is gone, I can still feel their support and strength from miles away.
2. Life is short. The older I get the more I am realizing how short life really is. At this point in my life, I've lost family members, pets, and peers whose losses have all illustrated that life eventually comes to an end. I may only be 22 years old, but I'm trying to live in every moment and not waste time on the things that don't matter because life is too short to not be happy.
3. Change is, and forever will be, happening all around us. Lots of people fear change even though it happens every day. You could do the exact same things at the exact same times each day and the calendar still changes. The traditions that our parents raised us with always seemed to be cast in stone but there comes a time when even those most precious traditions are broken. Is it weird not being home for Thanksgiving? Maybe Christmas? Sure, but that's life. I never in a million years expected to be where I am in life but I'm embracing it because change doesn't have to be a bad thing.
4. Stop and smell the flowers. Seriously. As a twenty-first century child, I live life plugged in to many different devices and platforms. This goes along with #2, but I've realized how important it is to cherish all of those little beautiful things Mother Nature has created. I try to have at least one "pause" per day. What do I mean by pause? Take one minute, or five, heck, even ten minutes just to look around you. Look up at the sky. Take in your surroundings. Smell the flowers! Every morning on my 4:30am drive to work, I get to see the beginnings of the sunrise which has literally taken my breath away on multiple occasions. Life gets so busy sometimes and it's important to just pause once in a while. 
5. Ow! My legs! Okay, okay, so I'm sure this one will give me a laugh in twenty years when I reeeally start getting pains but I swear, I have them now! Laying on the ground all contorted isn't as easy as it was five years ago. Seriously how is that possible?! I'm sore. I'm in bed by 9pm. What is happening to me?!?!?

Entering into adulthood is a really strange transformation. Suddenly, cupcakes for breakfast are as appealing as staying up all night at a sleepover party. Painting your nails neon pink looks obnoxious and conversations about debt, loans, and payments become part of your daily vocabulary. Maybe your hair starts thinning, or turns grey, or falls out. There's pressure to go see a doctor just to make sure your body isn't planning a mutiny against you. Summer vacation is no longer for lazy days of reading in the backyard...it's for saving up as much money as you possibly can so that you can attempt to pay off some of your *gulp* college loans. Meanwhile you will still feel like a kid and unfortunately, some adults will treat you as though you are inadequate because of your youthfulness.

I'm gonna end this by saying that Jesse and I went to go buy beer on two separate occasions this week and didn't get carded either time. Yikes. Hello, adulthood.

Juuuuuuuuune Updates!!!

I feel like almost every blog post I write is an update post. I'm going to blame it on a lack of creativity because while I've been really inspired lately, every time I sit down to write a new post I can't. Case in point? I have 12 posts sitting in the draft folder that consist of a few - often misspelled - words (a.k.a. my "professional" outline process). Maybe it's the weather but for whatever reason I haven't been able to get myself to write anything that I'm proud of. I wrote a (PMS-induced) post a few weeks back that sounded really sociopathic so I decided not to post it. So without further adieu, here's another list of life updates!

1. I'm happy to announce that I am currently typing on my newly fixed laptop!!! If you remember, this laptop stopped charging/recognizing the plug in February but I was too poor to fix it and for some reason even when I had the money I kept putting it off. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that the only reason this one is fixed is because my old laptop (Dell circa 2009) is now broken too....oops.

2. For the past few weeks I've been a peer academic advisor for the UNH incoming class. I am absolutely in love with the job and I have no idea what I'm going to do when it's over. Actually, I do know what I'm going to be doing after it's over - working 35 hours a week at Dunks. Yikes.

3. Speaking of Dunks, our new manager begged me to come into work at 5am instead of my usual 6am so that means that every day, I have to get up at 3:45am to get ready. SOS. #NoSleep

4. Summer is going well. Jesse and I both have Sundays off and we're trying to plan fun activities for each week. Last Sunday, we went to a wine tasting which was a lot of fun even though I was totally that girl and accidentally got drunk. #Oops

That pretty much sums it up! I'm really hoping to get some posts up in the next couple weeks about things unrelated to my life updates...Stay tuned!

Once a New Yorker, Always a New Yorker

I remember the day I got my tattoo the artist chuckled when I told him I wanted a tattoo of New York State. "You've got that much pride, huh?" he asked oblivious to the pride that comes with being from the Empire State. I've been a resident of the state of New Hampshire for over a year now but my car still proudly displays New York State licence plates and I still define myself as a New Yorker. Unlike Elsa, I just can't let it go.

As a college student, I've met people from many states - mostly Massachusetts, Vermont, Connecticut, and Maine - but no one seems to have the bursting pride that fellow New Yorkers have. Sure, people from Massachusetts say they love their state (although I don't know why) but not to the degree that New Yorkers do. When I drive home I happily blast "Welcome to New York" or "Empire State of Mind" as I cross the NY border and I'm overcome with a sense of pride accompanied by the chills. The "Welcome to New York" sign  will always read "Welcome Home" to me.

Don't get me wrong, I love New Hampshire but there are days where I'm actually pretty bitter towards my new home. I get annoyed that construction on one stretch of the road takes years (is that bridge ever going to get done?!), angered when I see redneck trucks driving down the road blasting bro country, and enraged when everyone and anyone hates on the Yankees. Mostly, I feel like the odd one out. Growing up in New York gives you a different mentality. You learn to walk fast, be independent, and mind your own business. No one thinks twice about having these qualities in New York but in New Hampshire if you have these qualities you are seen as "stuck up" and "better than everyone else."

There are days where for a moment, I wonder why I left New York. It's hard living in a place where no one understands where you came from. But as quick as those self-doubting thoughts come they are replaced by reassuring ones - ones that remind me how living in New Hampshire was my dream. I have really established a place for myself here and I really do feel like I'm making a name for myself. New Hampshire is my new home and while I am still getting used to the ways of this new world, I don't think I'll ever let the New Yorker part of my identity go. Once a New Yorker, always a New Yorker.

Songs that got me through...

...a time of confusion: "Paradise" by Coldplay

...a time when I needed a push: "Never Be Ready" by Mat Kearney

...a time when I realized the truth about a certain boy: "You're Not Sorry" by Taylor Swift

...a time of separation from a loved one: "Highway Don't Care" by Tim McGraw feat. Taylor Swift

...a time of realizing what a terrible person my ex best friend is: "Mean" by Taylor Swift

...a time of rising above a group of jealous haters: "Thank You" by MKTO

...a time of freeing myself from toxic people: "Release You" by Megan and Liz

...a time of  fear and anxiety: "Let It Go" by Idina Menzel

...a time of homesickness: "Simple Life" by Megan and Liz

What songs got you through hard times? Let me know :)

LDRs: The Real Deal

We've all heard the saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder" but when it comes to long distance relationships, that absence comes with a myriad of emotions. These emotions will still strike a nerve even years after the distance is bridged again. When you're hundreds of miles from the person you love, life takes on a new perspective and you begin to cherish Skype calls, "Good Morning" texts, and of course, short visits. LDRs aren't easy but if you can stick through it, it is so worth it.

Summer is here again (well, for college-age kids at least) and I've been thinking back to the end of my freshman year two years ago. For the first time in my life, I was dreading summer because I knew Jesse and I were going to be long distance for the 3+ months of summer vacation given to college students. On May 11th we said our goodbyes and I cried for the first hour on the drive home. He visited me in New York every 3 or so weeks and I lived for those visits. The fact that he would get out of work at 5pm, leave straight for my house, arriving at 10 or so at night just to see me for 2 days still amazes me. We made the most of our short visits together catching up, making out, and going on walks. But every night as I would fall asleep in his arms, I would get this lump in my throat as I realized our time together was almost up.

Jesse would leave at 5am on Friday mornings. The night before he left I would try to stay up as late as I could because I knew the moment I closed my eyes and fell asleep, the next time I would open them, Jesse would be leaving. 5am is such a beautiful time of day during the summer with the sun just beginning to rise. The day has so much potential. However, during that summer, I hated 5am. It was the hour that Jesse would get up, pack his things, and start up his Mustang to drive back to New Hampshire. We would say a really tearful goodbye and I would wrap myself in the blankets we just slept in and walk to the front of the house to wave goodbye. As soon as his car was out of my sight I would sit on the porch and cry. After just two short days, I would be alone again, in the lonely silence that 5am brings.

Whether you're currently in or will be in an LDR in the future, here are some things to keep in mind.

• Use technology to your advantage. We live in a world that has Facetime, Skype, texting, and every kind of social media available so use it! Skype every night. Text in the morning. Whatever works! 
• Handwritten letters are super romantic and they are a great keepsake. I channeled my inner Noah Calhoun and wrote Jesse a letter every single day that summer and man, are they fun to reread. They're repetitive and kinda cheesy but they are always reassuring to read.
• Once you've been in an LDR, you'll never take that person for granted ever again. Every time I'm annoyed at Jesse I always think back to that summer and it just puts everything into perspective.
• We all do crazy things when we're in love. Example #1: Jesse drove hundreds of miles to visit me during that summer. Example #2: After that summer, we promised to never be apart again and look at me know! I live in New Hampshire!
• Countdowns will become your life. After I stopped crying after Jesse left, I would start a new countdown until he visited again. There's something about watching time pass that makes LDRs a little easier...either that or I was just really bored without Jesse.
• If you want it to work, it will work. LDRs take effort to maintain but if both parties put in that effort, you guys will make it. I promise.
• LDRs are romantic...in retrospect. While I would never want to go back to that summer (for multiple reasons - hello summer of surgery), I have great memories of those months that I'll carry with me forever.
• There will be tears. Lots of tears.
• You might have a breakthrough in your thinking. It was during my long distance summer that I truly fell in love with Jesse and realized that he is The One.

During that summer I found a great quote that helped ease the pain of a fresh goodbye:

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."                                                                                                                    -Winnie the Pooh

Saying goodbye to the person you love never gets easier but I am so fortunate to have found someone like Jesse. I still get choked up when I stop and think about how Jesse would drive to see me every few weeks because he wanted to see me. If the person you're with is willing to go the distance, you'll make it through the summer, year, or week of long distance love. If it's true love, no distance is too great.

April 2015 Happenings

#NotAnotherUpdatePost #JK

Hiii everyone! April has been insane! I have been so busy with work, school, my ferret (that happened), and life that April has felt like 2 days as opposed to 24. So let's cut to the chase - here's what has been going on!

1. I got a ferret! Well, Jesse and I got a ferret so we're now ferrents LOL DO YOU GET IT?! I thought I made that word up but apparently it is used frequently on various ferret message boards (those are a thing). His name is Gizmo (although I tend to call him Baby G, Littlest, or Gizzy) and he is such a love! He is 12 weeks old and he is full of energy. I honestly didn't think he was going to be that much work but he gets into/steals everything he gets his tiny hands on so life with Baby G is constantly chasing him around trying to get your sock/highlighter/water bottle back.

SO IN LOVE

2. THERE IS ONE I REPEAT ONE WEEK OF CLASSES LEFT OF THE SEMESTER PRAISE THE LORD ALMIGHTY HALLELUJAH!!!!!!! I have two days of classes left (Tuesday and Thursday), one final paper, three final exams until summer vacation. Even though I'll be working all summer it's going to be SO nice to not worry about deadlines, projects, papers, etc. This semester went by so quickly and at the end of this week, I'M OFFICIALLY A SENIOR! #TimeFliesWhenYou'reHavingFun #IMeanWorking

3. I got a placement for my internship next fall and I am so excited!!!! I'll be working at an afterschool program as a program leader and I get to work with middle schoolers YAY! I get to plan curriculum and take them on fun trips which sounds like so much fun! I'm already planning out curriculum and things to do with them! #IsItFallYet?!

I think that's it for the moment! I better get back to the paper that I'm procrastinating on...This blog was made possible thanks to procrastination and viewers like you. Thank you. (Little PBS reference for your enjoyment ;)) 

Talk to you guys laterrrrr!

P.S. I have 5 blog post outlines sitting in my drafts that I'm hoping I'll be able to write within the next couple weeks! The content is really fun so I hope you enjoy them when I finally get around to writing and posting them!