You Can't Buy My Virginity!!!!!! (The Truth About MTV)

5 words - "I'm no longer a virgin" - was the only thing I had to say. That sentence, or opposite - "I'm still a virgin because..." - were highly sought after by the production team at MTV. Those 5 words would've satisfied the producers and given me a pretty generous paycheck but I refused to utter them.

Let's back up to the moment I heard that I was chosen to be part of the cast for Virgin Territory. I was ecstatic that my story would finally be heard and that I could potentially help hundreds of girls just like me. After the excitement wore down, I soon learned that reality TV had a darker, more technical side. I was presented with a contract which I read over (twice) like a hawk, highlighting things that made me unsure. I spoke to one of the executive producer's for the show and asked her about the discrepancies. I was satisfied with the phone call but realized that I had to lay down rules of my own. Rules that none of the producers knew of still to this day.

I made it my mission to talk to everyone who would be on the show and figure out what their restrictions were. I talked extensively with my boyfriend, Jesse, about what we would/wouldn't talk about and about what we would/wouldn't do. Since we are both firm believers in no PDA, we decided a quick kiss was the farthest we'd go on camera. We also set one other ground rule: when we had sex, if it happened during or in between filming, we would not talk about it on camera. Period. (Side note: the end of the episode makes it seem like Jesse and I had sex the last night of filming and my first time was actually about a month later.)

During filming, the producers found it strange that we wouldn't talk about certain things (for example, what we did in the bedroom the night before). They also approached me multiple times to ask why we wouldn't cuddle or makeout on camera to which I always responded, "That's something we're not comfortable doing for the cameras." We had good reasoning, too. I was using the show for purely educational reasons and to help other girls with septate hymens. Jesse was only doing the show because I wanted him to. Looking back, I'm really surprised and impressed that he was a part of it because he's the type of guy who hates having his picture taken.

When I lost my virginity, I wasn't sure whether I should tell MTV or not. I ended up telling the producers who were thrilled because after all, isn't that the point of the show? I'm not allowed to give away any filming secrets but does anyone else think it's weird that almost all of the cast members lose their virginity while filming...!? I would say they were equally shocked that I refused to talk about it. That set a certain exec off who told me the following things:

1. I had to talk about it because I had signed the contract. (Lie. No where in the contract did it say that I was required to reveal the final status of my virginity.)
2. If I really loved Jesse, I would tell everyone I wasn't a virgin anymore. (Jesse found this particularly funny because as far as he was concerned, our love making didn't matter to anyone but to us.)
3. If I didn't reveal that I  wasn't a virgin, I wouldn't be on the show. (Which I am. September 24th at 11/10C!)
4. How can she, the producer, film something that isn't truthful. (HA HA HA the irony)
5. How can she end my story properly?! (I countered this statement asking her how she would've ended my story if I was still a virgin. Funny thing is, I think they were planning on everyone losing it therefore providing them the perfect ending.)
6. Don't you want to help young girls!? (Yes, yes I did. Buuut saying I wasn't a virgin had no impact on helping them get through their surgeries.)

I was fuming. Later that week, I got the filming schedule for their next trip to New Hampshire. Listed as one of the "things to do" was a re-enactment of a certain  life event. That was it. I emailed the producers and quit.

Pressing send on that email was the most liberating feeling. I was free! I will add that I was asked multiple times to do a closing interview to "clear up some confusion" to which I refused. I believed it was a trap and that I would get tricked into talking about my first time.

I'm sure some of you don't understand why I refused to say those 5 words. I asked myself why a thousand times after quitting because it was one sentence that would've made paying rent a lot easier. But money isn't everything. I would've forever felt terrible about selling my virginity which is essentially what most people on the show did. Granted, not everyone lost it and not everyone had such a strong opinion on it. For me, I kept my dignity and took matters into my own hands. I'm not afraid to admit that I lost my virginity to the world but I sure as hell wasn't saying those 5 words on MTV to satisfy the producers. Virginity can't be bought. Remember that.