Once a New Yorker, Always a New Yorker

I remember the day I got my tattoo the artist chuckled when I told him I wanted a tattoo of New York State. "You've got that much pride, huh?" he asked oblivious to the pride that comes with being from the Empire State. I've been a resident of the state of New Hampshire for over a year now but my car still proudly displays New York State licence plates and I still define myself as a New Yorker. Unlike Elsa, I just can't let it go.

As a college student, I've met people from many states - mostly Massachusetts, Vermont, Connecticut, and Maine - but no one seems to have the bursting pride that fellow New Yorkers have. Sure, people from Massachusetts say they love their state (although I don't know why) but not to the degree that New Yorkers do. When I drive home I happily blast "Welcome to New York" or "Empire State of Mind" as I cross the NY border and I'm overcome with a sense of pride accompanied by the chills. The "Welcome to New York" sign  will always read "Welcome Home" to me.

Don't get me wrong, I love New Hampshire but there are days where I'm actually pretty bitter towards my new home. I get annoyed that construction on one stretch of the road takes years (is that bridge ever going to get done?!), angered when I see redneck trucks driving down the road blasting bro country, and enraged when everyone and anyone hates on the Yankees. Mostly, I feel like the odd one out. Growing up in New York gives you a different mentality. You learn to walk fast, be independent, and mind your own business. No one thinks twice about having these qualities in New York but in New Hampshire if you have these qualities you are seen as "stuck up" and "better than everyone else."

There are days where for a moment, I wonder why I left New York. It's hard living in a place where no one understands where you came from. But as quick as those self-doubting thoughts come they are replaced by reassuring ones - ones that remind me how living in New Hampshire was my dream. I have really established a place for myself here and I really do feel like I'm making a name for myself. New Hampshire is my new home and while I am still getting used to the ways of this new world, I don't think I'll ever let the New Yorker part of my identity go. Once a New Yorker, always a New Yorker.

Songs that got me through...

...a time of confusion: "Paradise" by Coldplay

...a time when I needed a push: "Never Be Ready" by Mat Kearney

...a time when I realized the truth about a certain boy: "You're Not Sorry" by Taylor Swift

...a time of separation from a loved one: "Highway Don't Care" by Tim McGraw feat. Taylor Swift

...a time of realizing what a terrible person my ex best friend is: "Mean" by Taylor Swift

...a time of rising above a group of jealous haters: "Thank You" by MKTO

...a time of freeing myself from toxic people: "Release You" by Megan and Liz

...a time of  fear and anxiety: "Let It Go" by Idina Menzel

...a time of homesickness: "Simple Life" by Megan and Liz

What songs got you through hard times? Let me know :)

LDRs: The Real Deal

We've all heard the saying, "absence makes the heart grow fonder" but when it comes to long distance relationships, that absence comes with a myriad of emotions. These emotions will still strike a nerve even years after the distance is bridged again. When you're hundreds of miles from the person you love, life takes on a new perspective and you begin to cherish Skype calls, "Good Morning" texts, and of course, short visits. LDRs aren't easy but if you can stick through it, it is so worth it.

Summer is here again (well, for college-age kids at least) and I've been thinking back to the end of my freshman year two years ago. For the first time in my life, I was dreading summer because I knew Jesse and I were going to be long distance for the 3+ months of summer vacation given to college students. On May 11th we said our goodbyes and I cried for the first hour on the drive home. He visited me in New York every 3 or so weeks and I lived for those visits. The fact that he would get out of work at 5pm, leave straight for my house, arriving at 10 or so at night just to see me for 2 days still amazes me. We made the most of our short visits together catching up, making out, and going on walks. But every night as I would fall asleep in his arms, I would get this lump in my throat as I realized our time together was almost up.

Jesse would leave at 5am on Friday mornings. The night before he left I would try to stay up as late as I could because I knew the moment I closed my eyes and fell asleep, the next time I would open them, Jesse would be leaving. 5am is such a beautiful time of day during the summer with the sun just beginning to rise. The day has so much potential. However, during that summer, I hated 5am. It was the hour that Jesse would get up, pack his things, and start up his Mustang to drive back to New Hampshire. We would say a really tearful goodbye and I would wrap myself in the blankets we just slept in and walk to the front of the house to wave goodbye. As soon as his car was out of my sight I would sit on the porch and cry. After just two short days, I would be alone again, in the lonely silence that 5am brings.

Whether you're currently in or will be in an LDR in the future, here are some things to keep in mind.

• Use technology to your advantage. We live in a world that has Facetime, Skype, texting, and every kind of social media available so use it! Skype every night. Text in the morning. Whatever works! 
• Handwritten letters are super romantic and they are a great keepsake. I channeled my inner Noah Calhoun and wrote Jesse a letter every single day that summer and man, are they fun to reread. They're repetitive and kinda cheesy but they are always reassuring to read.
• Once you've been in an LDR, you'll never take that person for granted ever again. Every time I'm annoyed at Jesse I always think back to that summer and it just puts everything into perspective.
• We all do crazy things when we're in love. Example #1: Jesse drove hundreds of miles to visit me during that summer. Example #2: After that summer, we promised to never be apart again and look at me know! I live in New Hampshire!
• Countdowns will become your life. After I stopped crying after Jesse left, I would start a new countdown until he visited again. There's something about watching time pass that makes LDRs a little easier...either that or I was just really bored without Jesse.
• If you want it to work, it will work. LDRs take effort to maintain but if both parties put in that effort, you guys will make it. I promise.
• LDRs are romantic...in retrospect. While I would never want to go back to that summer (for multiple reasons - hello summer of surgery), I have great memories of those months that I'll carry with me forever.
• There will be tears. Lots of tears.
• You might have a breakthrough in your thinking. It was during my long distance summer that I truly fell in love with Jesse and realized that he is The One.

During that summer I found a great quote that helped ease the pain of a fresh goodbye:

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."                                                                                                                    -Winnie the Pooh

Saying goodbye to the person you love never gets easier but I am so fortunate to have found someone like Jesse. I still get choked up when I stop and think about how Jesse would drive to see me every few weeks because he wanted to see me. If the person you're with is willing to go the distance, you'll make it through the summer, year, or week of long distance love. If it's true love, no distance is too great.