Dunkin Donuts: Did YOU know?!

With just a little over a month left of summer 2015, I'm coming to the realization that I really did nothing else but work. Oh, well. Dunkin Donuts is actually a pretty cool place to work (read: free coffee). I work 35 hours a week and thought I would share some behind the scenes/helpful information that I've learned as an employee.

1. You can order individual munchkins. With tax, a single munchkin is 27 cents. Or, you can #TreatYoSelf and get 5 for $1.
2. If you are going to be ordering a Box O' Joe, please come inside to order it. They take some time to make and other customers at drive thru get pretty angry at us for taking so long even though it was because of you and your order.
3. We throw out all donuts at the end of the night. No, you cannot come in before close and get them for free.
4. Before you get pissed with the person at the window for "screwing up your drink" please realize that the drive thru process works like this: someone greets you and takes your order. Then, someone at the drive thru counter will make your drink (me!) and place it on a mat to be delivered to you via the person at window. See? Not only did the person at the window not make your drink, but they didn't even hear you order because they don't wear a headset.
5. If you're sitting in the backseat and trying to order, either yell - literally YELL - your order or tell it to the person driving so they can place it for you. We can't hear you in the backseat,
6. Please stop telling us that the area near the speaker smells like trash. The garbage is back there. It is going to smell like garbage.
7. Dunkin Donuts is a franchise so the guy who owns my Dunkin Donuts also owns 14 others in the area. This means that every Dunkin Donuts is different. Please stop trying to argue about how you paid $2.99 for a sausage, egg, and cheese at a location in Connecticut and how you should be charged the same at my store in New Hampshire. We are all different.
8. Stop ordering in the most nonsensical ways. "Dark roast, 4 creams, iced, 1 Splenda, medium coffee, please" doesn't make any sense in terms of sentence construction. Try this: "Medium iced dark roast with 4 creams and 1 Splenda please!" It's not that hard people.
9. We offer a senior discount but you'd be surprised by the amount of people that abuse this. It's 10% off but we get the occasional customer who is no older than 40 who asks for it. That's the other part of the senior discount - YOU HAVE TO ASK FOR IT. Even if you look like you're going to die tomorrow, we can't just give it to you. People get offended and complain if we do.
10. Speaking of discounts, if you have an AARP card, you can get a free donut with a beverage purchase!
11. You can order a cup of ice, a cup of ice water with a lemon, or a hot cup to put over your cold cup to keep it cold longer. We will charge you the price of a munchkin for any of these though. But hey, it's only 27 cents!
12. Stop complaining that we are too happy for 5am. Like, dude, I'm exhausted. It's 5:15am, I got 4 hours of sleep and I'd still like to be sleeping buuuut I need money and I'm getting paid to be smiley. Plus, we accept tips (*wink, wink, nudge, nudge*) so the happier I am to you, the more I'm hoping you'll be inspired to drop some dolla-dolla bills in my tip jar.
13. Speaking of tips, we split them so while I appreciate your 50 cent tip, there are 10 people here so you do the math...
14. If you are a dick to whoever is taking your order, I won't give you decaf coffee like a lot of other baristas would. Instead, I just give you an excessive amount of ice which means less coffee for you. Or, in a hot coffee, I won't be as generous with filling it up. So please be nice to whoever is taking your order.
15. We can hear you. Seriously. The speaker has a sensor so even if you aren't directly in front of our speaker, our headsets beep and we can "tune in" to the speaker. This means we can hear the weird side conversations you have. Same goes with when you "pull up" to the window. If there are cars in front of you, and you can only pull up 4 feet, the sensor doesn't turn off and we can still hear you. I've heard people swearing, yelling at their kids, and talking about vomit. On the inside, we all get a lot of good laughs.
16. We can also see you. We have cameras that look at your car so I can see what kind of car you drive and how you're behaving. Once, I saw a woman hit her steering wheel multiple times when I told her we were out of maple frosted donuts. I guess she was having a bad day. 
17. Don't tell us how to make your drink. We've got it. If you're that picky, you should just make it at home yourself.
18. If you're super nice, we'll hook you up! Being super nice lands you extra munchkins and a drink stirred to perfection.
19. No, the bagel twists or the guacamole flatbread are not coming back. You whining about it isn't going to change that either.
20. If you enjoy your coffee or your experience, TELL US! If you took a moment to actually look at your receipt, you'd realize that there's a survey at the bottom. Our managers love getting feedback and we crew members love it, too! Please, take the survey. If you do, you get a free donut! Who doesn't love donuts?!

What Your Favorite Dunkin Donuts Drink Says About You

My summer has consisted of working 35 hour weeks at Dunkin Donuts. I'm the drink maker which means I hear what you say through the speaker via a headset and I make your drink. I'd say I make about 500 drinks in any given shift and being the drive-thru make girl, I've realized certain patterns when it comes to which type of person orders what type of drink. Without further adieu, here is a list of drinks served at Dunkin Donuts and what they say about you.

What does your favorite Dunkin Donuts drink say about you?

Hot Drinks

A vanilla chai says, "I'm better than you" or "I'm too cheap to go to Starbucks"

A hot chocolate says, "I have commitment issues"

A mint, s'mores, or salted caramel hot chocolate says, "Wait, those exist?" or "I like to pretend I drink coffee!"

A hot latte says, "I can't afford Starbucks" or "I've got to get back to my novel"

A cappuccino says, "I'm having a crisis in my life" or "I have a lot of skeletons in my closet"

A Dunkaccino says, "I have trouble making basic life decisions" or "I'm greedy as heck"

A hot tea says, "I'm lazy AF"

A hot coffee says, "I'm an important person with an important job to go to" or "I have no idea what other drinks Dunkin Donuts offers"

Iced Drinks

An iced coffee (ordered by a girl) says, "I'm a basic girl who hashtag can't live without hashtag coffee"

An iced coffee (ordered by a guy) says, "I struggle with my masculinity" or "Coffee is gross"

An iced tea says, "I love everyone" or "I really wanna lose three pounds..."

An iced green tea says, "I'm late for yoga"

An iced latte says, "I'm a complex person" or "I'm single"

Frozen Drinks

A frozen coffee coolatta says, "I have no idea where my life is going" or "Did I remember to lock my door?"

A fruit flavored coolatta says, "I'm underage" or "I've never been kissed" or "I like One Direction"

A smoothie says, "I secretly like watching people suffer" or "I'm two-faced"

A frozen Dunkaccino says, "I CAN GET A DUNKACCINO FROZEN?!"

Flavors of Drinks

Caramel swirl says, "I'm L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y the most basic girl you will ever meet"

Mocha swirl says, "I'm on my man period"

Butter pecan swirl says, "I've always struggled with my weight" or "I have low self-esteem"

French vanilla swirl says, "I put myself first, Always."

Rocky road swirl says, "I escalate the situation quickly"

Cookie dough swirl says, "I have no idea what reality is"

Pumpkin swirl says, "I'm the textbook definition of basic" or "I only watch sports when my team is winning!"

Drink Styles

'Black' says, "I have a penis" 

'Extra, extra' says, "I hate coffee" or "I have a vagina"

'Two pumps of mocha, three shots of raspberry, half of a Splenda, and two creams' says, "I hate everything about everyone" or "I have trust issues"

'Less ice' says, "I'm a cheapskate"

'Small hot.....' says, "I'm older than 65"

'Extra large' says, "I have anxiety"

Did I get yours right? Let me know! Happy sippin'!