Cohabitation: What I've Learned After One Year

It's hard to believe that Jesse and I have lived together for an entire year now! It seems like just yesterday we were hauling furniture up the narrow staircase for what seemed like days...something my body still hasn't forgiven me for. But here we are, happily living together in our tiny little haven one year later!

Cohabitation often gets a really bad rap...especially for young couples like us. In many of my classes, we've studied cohabiting couples and the results aren't fantastic. We're talking accidental kids, messy breakups, lack of commitment (a.k.a. marriage never happens), etc. Moving in together after being together for a little over a year raised many eyebrows I'm sure. Buuuuut here I am one year later not pregnant, still with Jesse, and moving towards a future together (take THAT statistics)!

Here's a list of what I've learned after my first year of cohabiting!

1. It's expensive! Living in a dorm for 2 years didn't prepare me for the financial expenses I faced this past year. When I knew Jesse and I were going to move in together, I saved every penny I had and it still wasn't enough. Cohabiting is waaaay cheaper than living in the dorms (I'm saving $30,000 just because I'm not living in the dorms for my last 2 years of college) but paying out of pocket for groceries, toiletries, furniture, rent, and utilities does drain the bank account pretty quickly.
2. Chores and general daily tasks will consume most of your free time. When I first met Jesse we always had time to watch movies or go to a game at school. Now it seems that if we're not in class we're doing schoolwork and if we're not doing either of those things then we're preparing dinner, eating, cleaning, or sleeping. We usually use dinner time as "catch up" time because our schedules are pretty opposite.
3. We all have our quirks. Moving in with Jesse I thought I knew all of his quirks already but I was wrong. Pretty quickly I realized that Jesse has a tendency to leave dirty socks around the apartment and leave the lights on in every room. But I'm sure he doesn't enjoy my piles of rejected outfits stacked on the dresser or the way I arrange the blankets before I go to bed. We're both OCD in our own weird ways - another thing we have in common!
4. Living with your best friend/partner/soul mate is awesome. I never had great experience with roommates in college (I no longer speak or am in contact with either one) so I was excited to move in with Jesse. I love coming home from class knowing that I get to see Jesse and then spending the evening catching up while cooking and eating dinner. The cherry on the cake is getting to snuggle up next to him every night.
5. Changing your residency is actually kinda scary. I surrendered my New York State license and thereby gave up my New York residency as well ten days after moving in with Jesse. I actually ended up getting a tattoo that afternoon because I determined that I always wanted New York to be a part of my life. To this day, I don't feel 100% like a resident of New Hampshire but I've made a lot of progress.
6. Homesickness is still a thing. Last summer was the first summer that I wasn't at home in New York for. I didn't expect it to feel as weird as it did. Honestly as summer began, I constantly asked myself what I was doing living in New Hampshire. I hadn't found my niche and everything seemed so foreign. I visited home quite a bit for the first half of summer but as summer came to a close, I felt more comfortable with my new life and surroundings and I haven't looked back since.
7. Nothing will be as you expect it to be. When I was in high school I thought I had my life figured out. I thought I was going to double major in Hotel Management and Magazine Journalism and live in NYC and become an editor of a magazine for the first half of my life and move to Maine to open a bed and breakfast for the second half. I expected my first apartment would be after I graduated and right smack dab in the middle of NYC. But here I am, sitting in a tiny one bedroom apartment in New Hampshire that I share with my boyfriend. I never expected that this is the path that my life would take but I wouldn't change any part of it for the world. I love my New Hampshire life, I love my school, and I love Jesse. I may not have planned for this life but then again, how can you plan for anything in life?
8. Don't stop loving. It's easy when life gets busy and stressful (those dishes aren't going to do themselves!) to forget why you moved in in the first place. Jesse and I decided the first summer we were together that we would never spend another summer apart. At the time, neither of us knew that that would mean signing a lease together. We signed that lease a year ago because we fell in love with each other and decided that being together was so much better than being apart. Every time I'm feeling overwhelmed, I always think back to how much that first summer sucked and that always puts everything into perspective. Never stop saying 'I love you.'
9. You have to make time for each other. Jesse and I can get really focused on our own lives (classes, projects, jobs) and sometimes fall a little out of touch with what's going on with the other person. Sure, we always catch up and share funny anecdotes about our days but we don't always get into those deep, revealing conversations about how each of us are feeling. Luckily, Jesse and I pretty much know if something's up with the other person and before bed is when we'll really talk it out.
10. Bodily functions are no longer embarrassing. We all know that at the beginning of a relationship you pretend that you don't ever poop. Well, once you move in with someone, you can't really hide any of nature's callings. If you have to poop, you poop. If you have to fart, you fart. However, you will never get away with secretly farting under the covers. You might think that you're getting away with it because it doesn't smell but once someone shifts the covers, consider your cover blown.
11. Nakedness isn't that big of a deal anymore. Being naked when you cohabit doesn't just mean time for sexy time. Last minute outfit changes 30 seconds before you have to catch the bus go from "Ooh la la" to "Hurry up we're going to be late!"
12. IT'S SO MUCH FUN! The best part of living with the person you love is the fact that everything that once seemed so mundane is now fun! Cooking dinner means cooking together! Cleaning up becomes a team effort badly choreographed to music! Plus, you can have sex wherever and whenever you want! Talk about a win-win-win situation!