Once upon a surgery...

I am proud to announce that on August 19th, 2013 I had my hymenectomy. I am so happy and relieved and proud of myself. These past 2 months have been a roller coaster of emotions and I am really proud of the outcome.

My surgery adventure began at 7:30am. I checked into the hospital and had to wait until about 8:10am. I was showed into this little hospital room and I got the bed by the window! I had to change into the standard hospital gown which was a little awkward because my boob kept popping out of the front pocket and my butt was hanging out of the back. The nurse that did my initial vital signs and IV was super nice and funny and really put me at ease. The IV hurt a little, but I got it in the back of my hand so it wasn't as bad as the blood work. (Speaking of blood work, I found out that I am B+)! The worst part was the waiting. I had to wait until about 9:10am to be moved into the OR.

In the OR room, everyone was suuuper nice! I was cold so the nurse brought me a heated blanket and it was wonderful! I also had to take a pregnancy test (????) before surgery which I thought was ironic because I was having surgery to HAVE kids someday...Oh well. The pregnancy test was a struggle though because I had to like, wheel the IV and hold the back of my gown so my butt didn't hang out. There was some backup in my IV which freaked me out! (Backup is just blood filling into the tube).

The nurse told me she was gonna give me the medicine soon and the room immediately starting spinning. I must have passed out like 10 seconds later! The strangest part though, was that I remember the nurse telling me that I'd have to move myself onto the operating table and I vaguely remember moving in a daze and people all around me, hooking me up to lots of different machines. It honestly felt like a dream. It was the weirdest feeling I've ever experienced!

I woke up in the PACU (post-anesthesia care unit) and my first thought was "I'M DONE!" I was so relieved but soo groggy! The nurse brought my mom in and I immediately texted and Tweeted everyone I knew! I woke up at about 11:20am. I was quickly moved into my hospital room again and then my IV was taken out and I was allowed to change and leave! I was in no pain whatsoever!

As I write, it's been a day and I still haven't had any pain! However, when I pee, it burns for the first few seconds but then it goes away! I'm really careful about movement as I don't want to open it again. I have some trouble getting comfortable especially when I sit and sleep but that's about it! It went waaay better than I could ever have expected. I am so happy it's over and so proud of myself.

4 years, 1 month, and 12 days after I learned about my septate hymen, it was gone.

T-minus 12 hours.....

Hi everyone! So my surgery is TOMORROW. I woke up this morning really nervous and couldn't eat until like 2 in the afternoon but my nerves have subsided. In fact, I'm waaaay less nervous than I thought I'd be. I used to get more nervous for my pediatrician yearly physicals! I guess that means I'm somewhat over my fear of doctors. I've gained something from this whole process after all!

I think I'm calmer because I know what to expect. I've been told everything that's going to happen so I don't have that whole "fear of the unknown" thing. That always seems to be the cause of my fear. I'll let everyone know what happens afterwards so you can expect a verrrry long blog post tomorrow!

As for tonight, I have to bathe in antiseptic solution and stop eating after midnight. Right now, I'm in chow mode. I'm eating everything and anything I can. I mean, YOLO right?! Haha but in all seriousness, I'm really glad with how things are working out. I'm proud of where I am today!

UPDATES!!!!

Hi everyone! So sorry for the lapse in time. I've been so busy lately with vacations and job applications and life in general...not to mention appointments on appointments. Anyways, as the title says, this is the updates post.

Update 1: July 26th was my follow up appointment after the ultrasound. The week before this appointment I was visiting my boyfriend's apartment so again, I was mostly sad from saying goodbye instead of being nervous. However, I was extremely nervous waiting in the examination room because I was there to hear if I had any other reproductive problems. I was expecting the worst. Luckily, my doctor said the results were normal and that my insides look perfect! I was so relieved because that means I can have my own babies! Surgery got real when she starting filling out the paperwork and told me they'd call back later with a date and time(!!!!!!)

Update 2: The call came at 2:00 in the afternoon. The receptionist told me that my surgery would be on August 12th at noon. I was also then scheduled for pre-surgical testing and then another follow up with the gynecologist for the 7th and 9th respectively. I was glad to finally have an actual date!

Update 3: Yesterday I had my pre-surgical testing at the hospital. I'd never been a patient at a hospital before so it was really strange. My mom and my boyfriend came along which was really nice. I checked in and gave all of my basic information and then was sent to the pre-surgical testing suite where I had to wait. Oh how I looove waiting. (Note the sarcasm). Finally the nurse called my name and asked if I needed the bathroom (ugh, urine test) so I'll spare you the details but just know it wasn't fun. Then I had to answer all of these questions about my health and stuff in the examination room with the nurse. Up until then it seemed like a walk through the park, but then she said she needed to take blood. Now, just to clarify, that has always been my biggest fear. No joke, when anyone would talk about blood tests, I'd immediately fold my arms together and cringe. Buuut here I was, being told I needed to have one. I asked the nurse "REALLY?!" 4 times. The actual blood test didn't hurt, but I was uncomfortable because I knew what was going on. After it was over though time started to slow and my ears started ringing and everything got all tunnel-vision-y and I got cold and sweaty and nauseous. My first thought was how bleeding out must be a terrible way to go. The nurse asked if I was ok and got me some water. Then, she explained what I needed to do on the day of the surgery. I asked for more water because I literally thought I was gonna pass out and she brought my mom and boyfriend in the room. I was finally able to walk out of the hospital. I got in the car though and just started sobbing. I just was so overwhelmed and wanted it to be over so bad.

But here I am one day later and determined. I've come so far since June 18th and I honestly never dreamed I'd make it this far. We truly are stronger than we think we are.

Tips for Your First Gynecologist Visit

Hi gals! So in lieu of today's visit, I decided to write some tips on what you should know/expect from your first gynecologist visit. It's totally not scary (unlike I first thought) and I'm abnormal.

On the day of your exam:

• Try to keep as calm as possible, it isn't the worst thing in the world. I wrote "be brave" on my wrist to help me stay focused.
• If you're going with a parent, friend, guardian, or trusted adult, talk it out with them on the car ride. Talking to my mom about being nervous made me way less nervous.
• Take as many deep breaths as you need.
• When the doctor comes in, admit that you're nervous! It's totally okay to be nervous and the doctors expect that you will be.
• If something during the exam hurts or makes you feel uncomfortable, SAY SO! This isn't about seeing how much pain you can tolerate. The nurse who examined me stopped examining me completely because I was in pain. 
• Bring a list of questions if you need to. I actually didn't do this, but man, I wish I had. Once I was in the examination room, I forgot EVERYTHING!

Always remember, thousands of women have been through this before. The doctors have seen it all, heard it all, much of which is waaaaaaay worse than what you're issues are. Just stay as calm as you can. Get into your zone. (For me this includes listening to hardcore rap music. I don't know why but it calms me and helps me focus). It honestly is over before you know it. 

If you have any questions/concerns about your first visit, please contact me! I really want to help everyone! I've been there before and would be delighted to try and help you in whatever way I can, even if it's just a little 'you can do it!' spirit!

First visit? CHECK.

Phew! Well, I can officially say I've survived my first visit to the gynecologist! Honestly, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I mean I'm not gonna lie and say it was a walk through the park, but it wasn't the worst thing I've ever done.

Since it was my first visit, I had to do paperwork for a good 10-15 minutes beforehand. My handwriting sucked because I was shaky and nervous. After I filled all of that out, I went into the room with the nurse who took my blood pressure, height, and weight. After that, she left and I had to wait for the doctor. Waiting is the worst part but I got to wait fully clothed, which was quite pleasant. 

Turns out the doctor wasn't there so I had this lesbian nurse/midwife examine me. Honestly, I was super pissed because I told her from the start that I couldn't insert anything (i.e. finger, tampon, penis) and she proceeded to tell me she was going to examine me with a speculum and do a pap smear. I kindly had to remind her that nothing would fit because I tried endlessly with tampons but for whatever reason, she didn't seem to believe me. It actually took her trying to insert a finger and me jumping a foot and a half back in the seat in pain for her to realize that a full exam wasn't gonna happen. If only she had listened in the first place.... 

What also pissed me off was that after many failed attempts at insertion, she asked me if I had ever been abused or raped to which I was like, "Um, no." I was nervous because she was trying to insert huge objects that I told her wouldn't fit and she thought it was because I'd been raped.

She put me on the Pill which I guess was the only real benefit to the exam. I'm only upset because instead of having a surgery scheduled, I have another appointment this time with the REAL doctor. Hopefully she'll be more helpful. I absolutely hate doing things without a purpose so this infuriates me. I just want to be fixed gosh darn it! 

I cried a little earlier because I'm frustrated. Sometimes being a woman really stinks. I just want this to be over not even to have sex or use tampons, just so I don't have to have this hanging over my head anymore. I've known about this problem for 4 years now and ever since, it's always been in the back of my mind.